There are universes vast and wide, dimensions far and wide, and time both bent and narrow. In each of these is a Star Stellar 821, holding the Galaxy otherwise known as Zoot. In Galaxy Zoot there is a planet much like this one, green and blue much like this one, with more blue than green…much like this one. There are elephants and gazelles, lions and tigers and bears. The occasional humanoid and the occasional raging plague to remind those humanoids of their place in society. There are zoos on this planet, which we will learn to call the planet Speck. On planet Speck, zoos are the ultimate attraction, coupling zoo with carnival and circus, Dada and theatre, impromptu dancing and scripted teledrama. Zoos are the wonder, and life itself comes second. The animals are relatively sane, given the occasional outburst before slashing at a humanoid’s face. Contrary to popular belief, most of the animals are content in their caged freedom, enjoying as humanoids gaze at them in their gilded cages. Most are born into the crazy life of the zoo, most could not see life any other way. Why, just the other day, the news televised the grisly slaughter of a Grengel tiger at the hands of a cockroach. Utterly reproachable, all humanoids agreed that if the poor Grengel tiger had been simply left in its gilded cage, this never would have happened. Even the animals agreed poor Timothy the Grengel tiger should have been kept confined in his zoo, rather than be subjected to the slimy misdeeds of a cockroach.
Of course, as with all attractions fun and entertaining, there are those who protest the advancements of fun and entertainment in society. Particular humanoids particularly, protest against these fun and entertaining zoos, researching those in captivity and those who watch those in captivity. The results are always startling, and as per usual, wholly misbelieved by the general public. Of course, this does not stop these particular humanoids into trying by whatever means necessary to save those in their gilded cages, even if it means two nights spent in the county jail for breaking Code 257 of Law 58, Section 215 (amended in the year 2130 as to read Code 257 of Law 58, Section 215, Sub-Section 18, Margin 3), sometimes even three nights if it takes the officer time to find their Hippy-Nifty Book of Rules and Regulations Pertaining to the Guidance, Treatment, General Avoidance, and Advice of Zoos and Those Who Protest Against Them, Section 3. As can be assumed, most particular humanoids have time for a mad get-away before the officer finds the particular rule and/or regulation the perpetrator has committed. As such, many officers have petitioned for a far-reaching, broad brush stroke of the Hippy-Nifty Book of Rules and Regulations Pertaining to the Guidance, Treatment, General Avoidance, and Advice of Zoos and Those Who Protest Against Them, Section 3 as to make an arrest possible. As such, their petitions have gone unnoticed by those in higher power or somehow always seem to conveniently get lost in the junk mail.
In this Planet Speck, of Zoos both monstrous and beauteous, there lived an elephant. Of the male species: gray, particularly thick legs, and an especially long trunk. His tusks had never quite grown to his liking, and as such, he normally kept his lugging head turned slightly downwards, as to give the illusion that his tusks were somehow more illustrious than they were. His name was Olifant.
Olifant was at a curious point in his life, not quite so young but neither was he too old, but just a little too old to be considered in the prime of his life. Olifant was not a zoo animal, indeed, he had been born in the jungles of Xindia, wild and free, or as free as one can be before one begins to notice the shrouded cameras dispersed throughout the jungle. Olifant had never paid too much attention to these conveniently placed cameras, recording and researching all animals living in the Great Conservatory of Xindia. His life was far freer and far wilder than those elephants of the zoo, and how he used to shudder at the thought of becoming like them. In the Great Conservatory of Xindia, Olifant met Ella, his lady love. The most beautiful of all the gray elephants, the most passionate, and the most learned. Ella and Olifant lived a simple life, wandering the Great Conservatory in search of cockroaches to trample and animals to nurture and teach. Ella was born of the even more beautiful, more stupendous elephant Morgan whom many animals came to for guidance and knowledge of the universe. She counseled all, except for cockroaches.
Ella was so beautiful in fact, so wonderful to behold in all her loving glory that the Great Conservatory of Xindia sold her for five septibillion fervids. It was the greatest transaction ever committed between zoo and conservatory, and while particular humanoids found the transaction to be on the whole, disgraceful and immoral, the general public found it to be exhilarating. The Great Conservatory of Xindia now had enough money to begin a land transaction with the country of Alpen for a possible one thousand acres for the Great Conservatory (the title would then change to The Great Conservatory of Xindia and Alpen). Olifant was in despair, Morgan wailed her loss to the dingy blue skies of Planet Speck; all the animals of the Great Conservatory gasped in shock and horror. Ella the beautiful, Ella the bold, Ella the brave, stupendous daughter of Morgan, sold as if she were cattle!
Olifant lay in disgrace, and Morgan in sorrow. What was an elephant to do, but go and save his lady love from the clutches of the zoo and all who visited there.
So begins our tale, the tale of Olifant the Elephant on Planet Speck, to save his lady love Ella from the Star-Studded Platinum Zoo of Stupendous, Spectacular, Stunning, and Always Awesome Intergalactic Things (Cockroach Free Since 1993).